Tricking Yourself Into Being Happier

"I'm excited for the opportunity to push myself mentally and physically. It's a new challenge in mental fortitude".

This was the first line in my journal this morning.

In case you were wondering, I was dreading the challenge before I started writing about it. I made goals for myself two months ago in the hope of getting my habits back on track and adding more minutes of movement into my routine. However, I've done exactly the opposite. Now, that in itself is fine. I've been eating great food with people I love and my body appreciates the nourishment. The struggle is that I've been working towards a goal that seems to have gotten farther from me despite putting in massive amounts of work toward it.

Before journaling, I was not excited about this 'opportunity', because that's also the last thing I would have called it. I would have called it a setback, a deterrent. My primary emotions were fear, anger, and defeat - and those emotions are unpleasant. They don't serve me or my goals. While there are exceptions, generally, thinking negatively won't help you achieve your goals. Negativity simply stops you from trying potential solutions, and causes mental distress the entire time you work toward your goals.

I've been working towards being a happier person for ten years, with major breakthroughs beginning in 2020. One of the biggest improvements in my life was realizing that I can be in control of my emotions, at least 75% of the time. While I concede depression and anxiety can control emotions more than their holder at times, it is possible to change your thinking even if you feel resistance from your brain.

More often than not, when I first trick my brain into thinking differently, the little voice in my head laughs at me... It says 'there's no way you believe that!', and for a time, it's right. I don't always believe it. However, the more I repeat it to myself, the more true it becomes. The power of visualization** is incredible! It's the same concept of forcing yourself to fake smile when you feel awful. It feels really, really stupid... until it works.

Ideas You Can Use to Trick Yourself into Being Happier:

1. When you recognize cognitive resistance to something you either want to do, or know you should do, write it down. Then, try to think of 3 ways to rephrase the same thought in a way that resonates with you. Instead of saying "I hate doing laundry. It takes too much time, and it's really boring", try telling yourself "Today is a good day to get laundry done. I'll feel more relaxed once it's folded and put away, and maybe I can [think about solutions to a problem/listen to a podcast/plan my next date night/etc.,] while I fold."

2. One of my favorite tricks to becoming happier is by using Pavlov's Strategy and condition myself to feel certain ways about certain things. My favorite way to use this trick is to set my schedule so my least favorite part of the day directly precedes my favorite part of the day. For instance, I hate doing my readings for constitutional law (they're very dull), but I love working out. On days I really don't want to read for constitutional law, I'll make it so as soon as I'm done reading I can go straight into working out - or sometimes I merge the two and read while walking on the treadmill. By hitting two birds with one stone, I enjoy the readings more and my brain stops associating it with pain.

*Thinking from Scarcity: Thinking from scarcity is an evolutionary adaptation that causes humans to think shorter-term, to make sure their most urgent needs are met. But it impinges our ability to create a future in which we can thrive, because we are solely focused on surviving. To move out of a scarcity mindset, we must move into a mindset of abundance.

**The Power of Visualization: Visualization can help you achieve all your goals. We face mental resistance to everything that's new to us - new is evolutionarily terrifying! By practicing things in your mind (whether that's a new emotion, performance at work, performance in sports, etc.,) can greatly relieve the stress your brain feels when thinking about them and has been scientifically proven to improve performance in the real world.