Tricking Yourself Into Being Happier

"I'm excited for the opportunity to push myself mentally and physically. It's a new challenge in mental fortitude".

This was the first line from my journal entry this morning. In case you were wondering - I was in fact not excited for the challenge before I started writing about it. I'll be as transparent as I can be - I made goals for myself two months ago about getting my eating habits back on track as well as adding in more minutes of movement to my routine so that I could shed some weight I've put on in the last four months. However, I've done exactly the opposite and I've gained weight. Now - that by itself is perfectly alright. I've been eating great food with people I love and my body appreciates the nourishment. What I'm struggling with is the fact that I've been working towards a goal that seems to have gotten farther from me (even though I've been putting in massive amounts of work towards my goal).

So I was not excited about the opportunity - I started out with emotions of fear, anger, and defeat. But those emotions are unpleasant and they don't serve me or my goals. Thinking negatively, or thinking from scarcity*, probably won't help you achieve your goals either (though there are exceptions), and it won't be nearly as fun to crush your goals if you're in mental distress about them the whole time!

I've been working towards being a happier person for ten years, although I've only taken it seriously for about two years. One of the biggest improvements in my life is realizing that I can be in control of my emotions, at least 75% of the time. While I concede depression and anxiety can control emotions more than their holder at times, it is possible to change your thinking even if you feel resistance from your brain. A lot of the time, when I first trick my brain into thinking differently (and usually more positively), the little voice in my head laughs at me! It says 'there's no way you believe that!', and for a time, it's right. I don't always believe it. But the more I repeat it to myself, the more true it seems. The power of visualization** is incredible! It's the same concept of forcing yourself to fake smile when you feel awful. It feels really, really stupid... until it works.

Ideas You Can Use to Trick Yourself into Being Happier:

1. When you recognize cognitive resistance to something you either want to do, or know you should do, write it down. Then, try to think of 3 ways to rephrase the same thought in a way that resonates with you. Instead of saying "I hate doing laundry. It takes too much time, and it's really boring", try telling yourself "Today is a good day to get laundry done. I'll feel more relaxed once it's folded and put away, and maybe I can [think about solutions to a problem/listen to a podcast/plan my next date night/etc.,] while I fold".

2. One of my favorite tricks to becoming happier is by using Pavlov's Strategy! My favorite way to use this trick is to set up my schedule so that my least favorite part of the day directly precedes my favorite part of the day. For instance, I hate doing my readings for constitutional law (they're very dull), but I love working out. On days I really don't want to read for constitutional law, I'll make it so as soon as I'm done reading I can go straight into working out - or sometimes I merge the two and read while walking on the treadmill, then I can hit two birds with one stone, and I enjoy doing the readings more because I don't feel like I'm wasting time.

*Thinking from Scarcity: Thinking from scarcity is an evolutionary adaptation that causes humans to think shorter-term, to make sure their most urgent needs are met. But it impinges our ability to create a future in which we can thrive, because we are solely focused on surviving. To move out of a scarcity mindset, we must move into a mindset of abundance.

**The Power of Visualization: Visualization can help you achieve all your goals. We face mental resistance to everything that's new to us - new is evolutionarily terrifying! By practicing things in your mind (whether that's a new emotion, performance at work, performance in sports, etc.,) can greatly relieve the stress your brain feels when thinking about them and has been scientifically proven to improve performance in the real world.